YOU SUCK!

Why must you take money that is not yours?
Why?
Why must you make semi-poor people have anxiety attacks by taking away their money and charging them bogus fees?
Why must you not actually deposit funds that person has given to your establishment to deposit when you say your going to, thus creating negative amounts in one's account and kicking in the overdraft protection?
Why must you be such incompentant a-holes everytime I call for information concerning MY money?
I hate my bank.
Of course, I am pretty sure I'm gonna hate any bank.

Happy HNT!

Why should I care?

It has come to my attention that a certain somebody I work with submits an inaccurate number of hours each pay day. This somebody puts down when she is suppose to be here, regardless, if she was or not.
There are about 72 hours a year she gets paid for when she was in fact, not present. Doesn't sound like a lot? That is $504.00 a year. That's an insurance payment, car payment, groceries for two months, etc.
And really, if I have to be truthful, that is not the big thing that bothers me. It is the fact that she consistently lies. That's no good.
I have the biggest problem with liars.
But I have to shut my (big) mouth. Smile at her. And choke on her deceptive aura.
The sad part - she is my friend. I really like her. But knowing this makes me . . . well, it makes me not want to be her friend.
So my question.
Why should I care?
How do I get past this fact since my boss is obviously ok with the situation. (Yes, he is most certainly aware)

OMG

OMG!!!!
It is for sure Halloween in the office. I just shoveled in my mouth one orange frosted with sprinkles cookie, the really good ones that make every other cookie in the world seem insignificant and one cookie with a witch's head made of icing, two gummie spiders and I am debating on what is next. The Nestle Crunch bar (mini of course) or the Hershey's milk chocolate OR the fun size M&M's.
Lord forgive me for the sugar consumption.

Ketchup Nazi

There was an awesome tent sale happening this afternoon. Tons of shirts for only $5 a piece. So the girls at work, and myself of course, headed over during our lunch break.
Because we shopped for to long we had to grab something quick to eat and take it back to the office. We decided on Wendy's because it was close.
I'm not a big ketchup eater, which is apparently good in this situation.
On of the girls asked for extra ketchup because they only put two in the bag. The lady behind the counter gave her only ONE more and then a look that said, "if you ask me for more I'm throwing bacon grease on your skinny ass".
Don't be a disgruntled fast food server!

PX made me do it . . .

10 Favorites:
Favorite Season: winter
Favorite Sport: to play? I don't. to watch? baseball
Favorite Time: early in the morning, when the birds start to chirp but it is still dark out
Favorite Month: November
Favorite Actor: Vince Vaughn
Favorite Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Favorite Ice Cream: Sweet cream w/mini marshmallows from Marble Slab
Favorite Food: ritz chicken
Favorite Drink: 7 and 7
Favorite Place: My grandma's house

9 Currents:
Current Feeling: anxious
Current O/S: what?
Current Windows Open: blogger create post
Current Drink: water
Current Time: 11:45 a.m.
Current Mobile(s) Used: motorola
Current Show on TV: no TV on
Current Thought: what?
Current Clothes: blk sweater, blk lacy tank, green leporad print skirt, blk knee high boots, mismatched socks

8 Firsts:
First Nickname: kimbo, i hate it, more than anything else
First Kiss: seventh grade, Jon, can't remember his last name right now
First Crush: Kyle Kemp
First Computer: not a clue
First Vehicle I drove: 1989 Nissan Maxima
First Job: receptionist at a hair salon
First Movie: ??????
First Pet: a gray tabby cat, max, my sisters made him mean and we had to give him away
First Shave: fifth grade

7 Lasts:
Last Chai (Tea) : dieter's tea, two weeks ago
Last Movie: dodgeball
Last Time I Drove: 8:00 this morning
Last Time Shaved: in the shower this morning
Last Web Site Visited: PX's
Last Software Installed: I don't install software
Last Pill I Had: aspirin, saturday

6 Have You Evers:
Have You Ever Broken the Law: there is such a fine line between lawful and not . . .
Have You Ever Been Drunk: well . . . yes
Have You Ever Climbed a Tree: I've been pushed up into a tree
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: on occasions (when I'm drunk)
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast: does hunting count?
Have You Ever Broken Anyone’s Heart: nope

5 Things:
Things You Can Hear Right Now: the runner making a personal call on the company phone, my boss talking to another lawyer in the office, the ac shutting off, rustling papers, ticking clock
Things on Your Computer Table: lotion, nail file, mints, glasses, paper, post its, cell phone ( I had to see what kind I used), time card, batteries, certified mail supplies, etc.
Things on Your Bed: comforter, sheets, pillows, two stuffed turtles, clothes, hangers
Things You Ate Today: sausage breakfast croissant, so bad for me
Things in Mind: I have to potty

4 Places
You Have Been Today: the bathroom, my car, the office, and later I will tan

3 People You Can Tell Anything To: my mom, my husband, Lisa

2. Choices:
Black or White: black
Hot or Cold: cold

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die: Ride in a hot air balloon

If it was boring, it is PX's fault. I felt pressured!!

Call me crazy . . .

. . . but I miss the newness of relationships.

I miss the long talks about nothing and everything. I miss staying up late and watching infomercials because nothing else is on but you don't want to fall asleep and miss a moment together. I miss the awkward silences. The quiet laughs at each other. The daily phone calls (text messages for the daters out there now a days).

I miss the first dates. Taking hours to get ready. The way it feels when all your senses are on overdrive and your just waiting for him to put his arm around you or hold your hand. I miss when he actually does grab your hand for the first time, interlocking his fingers with yours. That incredible rush of sensation that shoots up your arm and washes over your body making you feel like you might burst with pleasure.

I miss the first kisses. The ones that have to be taken slow so you can adjust to the other person's style. And the sharp intake of breath as his hand slips under your shirt and rubs the small of your back.

I miss the attempts made to impress me. And the way it feels to know someone likes me enough to try to impress me. I miss starting something and seeing where it goes.

Call me crazy . . . but I miss the newness.

Busted

I was humming to myself as I went up the stairs to my office. Quite happy about the nice weather and yummy chicken salad sandwich I just had for lunch. Still a little upset about the Astros last night but I'm not worried. We'll get it tonight. I unlocked the door to the kitchen area instead of going through the copy room like I usually do. I thought I would grab a water before I absorbed myself in the files sitting on my desk. I look up as I remove my key from the door, my boss is there with a ominous grin on his face . . .

"Hey, Kimberly. How was lunch?"
"Great." (heart kicks up a notch)
"Do you know what happened to that bottle of Crown that was in the cabinet?"

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

"Ya."
"Really, what?"


fuck fuck fuck
Ok, here's the thing, the girls I work with were having an uber bad day about a month ago. The hurricane was coming, one of them had to call off her wedding, I had to write a story for Sunday's paper, there were people at my house and I didn't want to go home, so . . . we opened the crown. And well, we drank it all. It was an impromptu party for three. But even worse is that we were drinking at the office. We then got tipsy and invited others to come join our party. Not so smart. I know. Do you think he is gonna fire me???

"It got drank, Bill"
"Oh, Ok then. I was just wondering."

Whew!

Dramatic?????

That's right.
Me.
Dramatic.
Dear hubby informed me a couple of weeks ago.
I got all high pitched and was like "what, I'm not dramatic! I'm . . . oh, I see now".
I was even dramatic about being dramatic.
That's no good.
And now I wonder how many other characteristics I have that I don't know about.

I'm a thief

FU had this on his blog and so I stole it . . .

Name someone with the same birthday as you.
My nephew

Where was your first kiss?
On a playground

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
Does toilet papering count?

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes, but it didn’t hurt them cause I am weak little girl :)

Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
At church

What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
Their hands

What do you order at the Coffee Bean?
No Coffee Bean here, but I get a tall regular at Starbucks

What is your biggest mistake?
That one would take some thought

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Well, I carved a boyfriends initials in my knee when I was in junior high, and that hurt

Say something totally random about yourself.
I own over forty pairs of shoes

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes. Punky Brewster. Stop laughing.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Both

Did you have braces?
Yes, and I liked them

Are you comfortable with your height?
No, I can’t reach a lot cause I’m so short

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
My husbands proposal was probably the best, roses, sweet words, candles, and sparkly thing to top it off

When do you know it's love?
When you can’t live without

Do you speak any other languages?
Not so much

Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
At least twice a week

What magazines do you read?
Jane and Us

Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes, and I love it

Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes. The lady I used to clean house for passed away the second year I worked for her. It was so hard to keep cleaning for her husband. She was more than just someone I cleaned for.

Do you watch MTV?
Incessantly

What's something that really annoys you?
Stupid people

What's something you really like?
Salty foods

Do you like Michael Jackson?
I would have to say no. It really creeps me out how his nose looks like it fell off.

Can you dance?
Am I drunk?

What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
I was awake for two days making my mom her birthday present one year. My sisters and I were doing a scrapbook that took forever

Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
No, but I thought I was going to have to be once

Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Always

Reasons why I am not a Lady

. . . in no particular order

1) Road-rage
2) I talk about poo, poo cycles, poo types, all things poo related.
3) No clue as to which fork you are suppose to use for your salad.
4) I have a sailor mouth.
5) I'll drink beer from a can.
6) I have and will continue to burp, in public.

A Thought

My husband and I ( and when I say my husband and I, I mean me and he was there listening to what I have to say) had a very deep and soul reaching talk on Saturday.
Of course, it was induced by the many beers we had to drink in order to make it through the reception we were attending.
And while I enjoy those talks with him and we are all lovey on each other and what not, I feel worse for having it.
None of my fears, questions, etc., none of them, were resolved or addressed. That would require some input from hubby.
I have only managed to accumulate new fears and questions. A lot of them things I know he can't fix, and not wanting him to, but a reassuring word now and then. That would do for me.

Sing along

If your heavy and you know it clap your hands *clap* *clap*
If your heavy and you know it clap your hands *clap* *clap*
If your heavy and you know it then your thighs will surely show it, if your heavy and you know it clap your hands *clap* *clap*

The VCR ate my pilates tape. I have no motivation to get up early and "better" myself now. At least when I had the tape I felt guilty with it sitting there, judging me, telling me to get my ass moving.

out of order

I Can't eat anything because my tummy hurts.
It went on strike due to the virus. The one my husband had and decided it would be fun to give to me. Jerk!
I had to go home early from work on Monday and stayed home Tuesday.
Day three of virus, should have stayed home, ended up coming to work anyway. I can't do anything right today. And things are taking me twice as long to do. I am suppose to be paying the bills right now.
You see how that is working out for me.
This feels like the day that would never end.
I am starting to feel a little guilty for being paid today. I just went comatose in my chair for like 25 minutes.
Gross. I drooled.

Smartwater, electroyte enchanced water

"no water purifies better"
"no water hydrates faster"

"you hold in your hand a bottle of vapor distilled, electrolyte enhanced water, once you remove the cap and tilt the bottle into "drinking position", water will begin to flow through your body, purifying and rapidly rehydrating you, if you find the idea of being purer and moister disturbing, please place the bottle back where you found it and continue on your dirty, arid way"

I am not lying, this is totally the marketing idea of someone genius, and that genius works for Smartwater.
There are even tick marks on one side of the bottle that tell you what is happening to your body after you drink so many ounces.

1-cells admit they have an impurity problem
2-cells seek intervention
3-cells check into detox
4-cells get therapy for toxin withdrawal
5-cells are released from rehab
6-cells are cleaner than a christian rock song
7-cell-ebration

Now who doesn't want to buy a bottle of water that actually congratulates you on your purchase. I think it is important to feel as though you have done well in spending your money. And I won't lie. I am now addicted to this electrolyte enhanced water. Or maybe the bottle. Whatever.

Something I found to pass on

I find number seventeen to be the most important. Mostly because I do this. All the time.

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

14. Stop singing and read on..........

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Rita Blows

A bunch of college kids painted that on a huge piece of plywood and stuck it in their front yard. I live in a college town.
The college town that all the evacuees from south Houston where told to go. My roommate's family is from the south Houston area. We had eight adults, one child, one pug dog, and two cats in 1100 square foot, three-bedroom apartment for three days.
I have never appreciated alone time as much as I do now.
The good thing, they didn't have to go home to destruction as they first thought they would.
But I have to be honest. I was in a mood for most of the time they were here. It wasn't that I didn't want to help them, or even that my house felt invaded. I kinda like playing uber fabulous hostess. It was that two days went by before any of them actually thanked my hubby and me. And really, I understand that you are stressed out and don't know what awaits you in a few days after Rita has blown through, but we weren't even asked. It was not an option for us to tell you no. And you take two days to say thank you??
Ok, I just sound bitchy now.
It really wasn't so bad. I got drunk a lot.

Imeldaisms

My mom has always had great advice. But as a daughter, it is my job to not listen to said advice, make mistakes she warned me against, and then write this post to let the world know that she was in fact . . . well, right.

1) Always look your best, or at least decent, when you are in public. You never know who you might meet/run into.

2) Never get in the car without a bra and clean underoos.

3) Don't back talk me.

4) Dust once a week.

5) Separate your reds, always.

6) Keep enough money in savings that if you have to leave you can.

7) Pray about your problems.

8) Pick your friends carefully.

I am sure there are more. But these are the ones I remember (and learned from).

Quirk # 2

I just had some yogurt for breakfast. And then I took a sip of my coffee. Ewww! Such an assault on my taste buds.
It’s like drinking orange juice after you brush your teeth.
Before I was 18, I couldn’t eat things that were touching other foods on my plate. All foods had to be separated. And even now, I don’t like when they touch, but I have learned to move past the irrational anxiety to enjoy a normal eating experience.

Quirk # 1

I make my bed while brushing my teeth.
There are times I will just brush my teeth.
But I haven't made my bed for at least three or four months without brushing my teeth at the same time.
I noticed yesterday.
Also, I walk around while washing my face and I tap my foot, always, when I am picking out clothes in the morning.

Big Salad

Does anyone watch the Seinfeld reruns?
I love them. Can't watch them enough. There is one where George buys lunch for Elaine, but she doesn't know it because someone else hands her the bag and he gets all George like about it and tells her that she should have said thank you to him because he bought the "big salad" not the other person.
And while that was a great episode, I was thinking how I am sorta like George.
I want the credit. I want to be known as the one who did that something nice or bought someone something.
But that makes me sad. Because I really want to be a generous person without feeling like I should be getting something in return.

Am I always gonna be a selfish person?