V-Day '10

This was the dinner I made for my husband. It was really really yummy.
Don't be jealous. ;)

All Stars

I like basketball very little.
If there is a game on and the hubs really wants to watch, ok. I'll do it.
But seriously, do I have to watch the slam dunk and other random, basket challenges?
Really?
*sigh*
I'm so glad there is wine in the house.

Valentine's Gift

The husband surprised me with a new laptop as an early v-day gift.
Love it!!
I do wish it was green, but seeing how it only cost him $15, I won't complain too much.
I'm pretty sure my house shouldn't be taking on anymore electronics.
Feng shui is pretty adamant about the fact they harbor negative energy and are all around bad for you to be around to much.
Oh well.
I'm gonna enjoy my new toy. :)

Feng Shui

I have hired my sister to feng shui my house.
So far I have learned that my kitchen is my career area.
Which is crazy, because I feel like I spend more time there than anywhere else in the house.
Very excited to get to the redecorating.
I just love an excuse to shop. ;)

Jesus Juice

I love wine. The red stuff mostly.
The hubs and I buy cheap.
But honestly, is there anything better?
No.
No there is not.

Comment Moderation

So I just realized this was on. Somewhere in the changes blogger made and me being an occasional poster, I missed this. So thanks for the comments people.
And you should know, I was under the impression no one stopped here and I was a little more open than I probably would have been on my last few posts.
But I'm gonna keep that going.
It feels nice.
And liberating.
And this year I am working on caring what I think about myself and not what I think others are perceiving me to be.
So . . . . .
Happy Sunday!

A Thank You note to my Spanish nanny

Dear Wonderful Spanish Nanny,

Thank you for always having my house smell of goodness. Thank you keeping my children entertained while I work and loving them unconditionally as I do. And for teaching them spanish so that they may communicate with others better.
Thank you for enchiladas, homemade salsa and guacamole.
You are always on time, I appreciate that.
You always offer to stay the night with the children so that my husband and I can enjoy our special dates. That is a quality I cherish.
Thank you for being the best Spanish nanny ever to have lived and I am so grateful that you are my Spanish nanny.

- B

No, I don't have one. But I believe in the law of attraction. And while I have been attracting some negative things in my life, I have come to one conclusion - my thoughts are uber powerful.
I decided I should do something positive with those thoughts.
And I really really really want a spanish nanny.
So . . . . .

Not like the rest

For as long as I can remember, I have embraced each new year with nostalgia riding piggy back and questions tied around my ankles.
But this year, well, this year is different.
I havenot wanted to "remember" things.
I have not had a bunch of "what ifs" running around in my head and dragging me down.
I've been happy.
Unconditionally happy.
And I'm excited, truly excited to start this new year.
When usually I'm not.
Yeah!
Happy New Year!

Unsaid

I'm currently learning to keep my mouth shut.
Well, I think I've always been trying to practice this, but this month for sure, the lessons are coming full force. And now more than ever, I need to leave things unsaid.
Yes. Keep my mouth shut.
That will be on repeat in my brain the next time I am in a social situation.
Don't speak. (Good song, better advice)

Labels

I'm uncomfortable with them.
Haven't always been.
I'd say I was in fact a label-er.
But I've changed. As we do.
And as I learn to love more and in an unconditional manner, I become increasingly uncomfortable with labels.

-Wife
-Mother
-Sister
-Friend
-Co-worker
-Teacher
-Daughter
-Daughter-in-law
-Sister-in-law
-Aunt
-Cousin
-Small Business Owner (this one is VERY recent)

And really, I guess I should clarify.
The labels aren't what makes me uncomfortable, its the identification with them.
It's the knowledge that people will judge others based upon those labels.
And we are all so much more.

Boo

"Dora and Boots"

My goal: feel the answer, live it.

So here I am.
Content with myself and my life.
Not needing.
Not even wanting, except for the occasional primal need of food and water.
And yet, within this, I wonder where I am.
Does that makes sense?
Cause it doesn't to me.

I question. Almost everything.
Yet I know the answer. To almost everything.
It is there. Hiding in my knowledge. In me.
My goal: feel the answer, live it.

To Sandra

I'm sorry I put THAT in writing for all to see. :)
And I am so very glad I saw you and your beautiful daughter this weekend.

The new baby

This was at 2 weeks. And he is almost two months.

It's broke

So, I'm a fixer.
I can listen and comfort and not say a word but all the while I will be trying to figure out a solution to the problem, reason for sadness, etc. in my head. I won't tell. Unless you ask of course, or if you are close enough to me that I speak my mind no matter what. Then I'll fix it.
Anyhoo
Point is this.
I have come across a situation I can't fix.
And all my ideas to help apparently won't work.
But it is one of those situations that if it doesn't get fixed then my children will suffer, not to mention my husband and rest of my family.
I'm not the one to fix it. I have come to terms with that.
So what next?

I feel like breaking out in song

This week I have really reflected on how my outlook on life has changed over the past year. My daughter turned one last week. She is walking and babbling and learning and amazing me everyday with her ability to absorb all the knowledge that exists around her. There is nothing she doesn't learn from.
But I digress.
I used to want so strongly to never experience anything bad. But now, its like I know I have to otherwise there would be no good.
I get it now.
If there was never any "bad" then how could I ever appreciate the "good". And maybe because I am a mother or not so much a mother, but a person who is the world for another, I cherish that good so much more than I ever have before in my life.
I want so strongly now to never lose sight of what makes me happy. Of what gives me peace. I want so strongly not to be angry at anything or one because I know that the anger I give into tarnishes the good I might be experience.
I'll take the bad, when it comes.
But I'll take the good and hold on so much tighter than I did before.

What may be the cutest sleeping baby ever

I've been trying to post

Really.
I have been trying so hard.
But every time I sit down to share my ins and outs and thoughts and whatnots, the booger (my daughter) decides to make that task impossible.
At this moment, she is sitting at my feet, screaming.
No tears mind you.
She just wants to be picked up.
I am so ready for the needy stage to end.

Best TGIF ever starts tomorrow!!

As of tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. I will embark on my new path of life.
Being a Housewife/mom.
They threw me a little going away lunch today and my boss splurged on an hour massage for me. Which is great, because the deciding factor in our decision for me to stay home with Alivia is that I am pregnant, again.
And the day care bill would have been ridiculous!!!
Not to mention that the doctor is treating this pregnancy as high risk because of what happend with Alivia. And she seems to think that my blood pressure issue will be MUCH better without the added stress of work.
So, I will be a woman of leisure, so to speak, starting tomorrow afternoon.
YIKES!!
What will I do all day?
What if Alivia misses daycare?
HELP!!!
No, really, I am excited. My house will be forever clean and I can start experimenting in the kitchen like I have always wanted but never had the time for.
Then when the second baby arrives in April, I can shoot myself. ;)

The Birthday

Holy moly . . . I am officially in my late twenties.
That is all.