I have no idea how to be this person I am trying to be.
A wife.
A mom.
A friend.
A good employee.
Never have I had to jugle so many titles.
And never have I doubted my ability at so many roles.
Let's be honest, I suck at being a wife. I am lucky to have a hubby who is laid back enough to wait around while I get the hang of caring about someone else before myself.
Being a good employee was easy before the mom role came into play. Now work seems to be this chore, this horrible horrible chore.
And I don't really know if I have ever been a good friend.
I think maybe I can be but I let my other roles cloud the friend one.
We have yet to see how I am at the mom role.
Most days (middle of the night) I wake up and can't believe this perfect little thing came out of me. And I am oh so very scared of screwing her up. How can I provide a life for someone when I can't seem to get my own straight?
And how the hell am I suppose to combine all these roles/titles into one person?
And how the hell does anyone else do it?
8 comments:
berly hun,
you'll do it because it'll all become second nature. suddenly things will start slotting them selves into place and you'll stop worrying about letting people down
it'll all be fine :)
B-
I know you sisterfriend. You have never been a bad friend. Ever. Not once.
You always care about others. And often times put them first.
So dont short yourself. Youre a good friend. And a good wife. And I have no doubt a good mom.
Now clap your hands three times and say you believe in fairies...
Berle - you're amazing. You're sweet, kind, compassionate and caring. Oh AND FUN! And you're doing an amazing job at juggling everything. Take it one day at a time...and one nap at a time...it will get easier. And PS - I dont think anybody ever really KNOWS how to be a mom - it's instinct (I hope anyway) - and I've seen you at it. You have the instinct. You're going to be spectacular!!!
Ummmm... booze maybe? It might not make you good at these things but it will help you cope. Kidding, KIDDING! No, I get it. I can barely juggle the employee/wife/friend thing so, I suppose, if I became a Mom too I'd have to do what I see all the other Moms I know doing - ditching the friends. Ah, I've lost so many friends to kids already. But, you know, I don't blame them. Life is crazy. You just be sure to keep taking care of yourself too!!
berly, while I would say that I am fairly certain that you excel in all your roles, I realize that motherhood is challenging. I read about all these new moms fearing that they cant bring their child up to be perfect. Maybe you can talk to someone about it and see if there's any help out there. From what I read here you are prolly the best mom your kid could hope for. You are perfect to her if not to yourself.
You are not alone. No one gets a how-to book when they are born. It's hard being a daughter that stays in touch despite her schedule, a sister that is there other than for holidays, a friend that has time to go out, an employee who is motivated despite issues that happen daily, a teacher that is patient in the face of lack of work ethic from her students, a girlfriend that can be supportive though the hard times. We all feel it. And we are all feeling and finding our way around this life. It's good you can see it for what it is, though. It helps to be honest about it.
-N
As much as people are saying "im sure you're doing a great job" blah blah blah...i have a different comment.
Im POSITIVE that you are doing a more amazing job then you are giving yourself credit for....but Im coming from the social services perspective, where I work with families ALL THE TIME, for the past 7 years.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, dont forget to talk to your doctor about mild post partum depression. Im not saying this is it....becuase I dont know enough about how you feel, but dont just ignore these feelings...PPD groups are awesome, because you get to meet other moms who are going through exactly the same things that you are. You're not alone here....every mom has felt like you do at some point.
It really does get easier after they are a few months older. Those first months up to about 6 months are what I would call "heaven and hell". Once they start doing more and can hold their own bottle, sit up on their own, start saying a few words, smiling more and don't have colic, it really does get easier. Oh yeah, and sleeping through the night, every night. Both of my kids had colic the first 6 months with both of them, I thought the same things too. So waht my dad says..... "It'll pass". Just try to make it to the six months mark and you'll start seeing the difference.
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