Sunday, March 18, 2007

Little things

Hubby is putting the baby down for me. We just got back from my parent's house and there is the normal unpacking and such to do. Plus, Alivia starts day care for the first time tomorrow so there are emergency contacts to fill out and bank accounts to verify available funds.
I was just picking up our room and unpacking our bag, getting the bed ready to sleep in and there, sitting innocently, was one of Alivia's little pink socks. Just this tiny piece of fabric lying amongst other pieces of mine and hubby's clothing.
And I thought to myself, wow.
How can it be so commonplace to see that little pink (baby) sock there on the bed with my things?

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Let's be honest

I have no idea how to be this person I am trying to be.
A wife.
A mom.
A friend.
A good employee.
Never have I had to jugle so many titles.
And never have I doubted my ability at so many roles.
Let's be honest, I suck at being a wife. I am lucky to have a hubby who is laid back enough to wait around while I get the hang of caring about someone else before myself.
Being a good employee was easy before the mom role came into play. Now work seems to be this chore, this horrible horrible chore.
And I don't really know if I have ever been a good friend.
I think maybe I can be but I let my other roles cloud the friend one.
We have yet to see how I am at the mom role.
Most days (middle of the night) I wake up and can't believe this perfect little thing came out of me. And I am oh so very scared of screwing her up. How can I provide a life for someone when I can't seem to get my own straight?
And how the hell am I suppose to combine all these roles/titles into one person?
And how the hell does anyone else do it?