Thursday, March 31, 2005

Temper Tantrums

Let me just say, I think it is totally normal for someone in their twenties to have a temper tantrum. In fact, I think more people should, in the privacy of their own home of course, have temper tantrums. And I will tell you why.
Yesterday seemed to be the day determined to get my good spirit down. And it did.
I call the cell phone people. Not early because I know they are going to do something that makes me call them the devil and I did not want to start off my morning like that. I want to drop the second line on my service because my second replacement phone is still not working. I got it from the insurance company, who by the way, charged me fifty dollars. Why have I been giving you six dollars a month for a "free replacement phone in case of damage"? I don't know why sales people have to lie. Lies make baby Jesus cry.
So the guy on the phone says, "oh, well you are available for a FREE upgrade phone. Just go to any of our stores and trade in your old phone." I repeat this info. And I repeat that I will not have to pay ANYTHING!!! He says I am correct.
I go to the store in the mall from which I purchased the cell phone in the beginning. She tells me I have to go to a corporate store, which closes at seven. It is now 6:42. I leave.
I go to the corporate store.
Kevin at that corporate store informs me that in order to get the FREE phone I will have to resign my contract for two years. What????
I call Alan and he says go ahead.
Kevin, the already scared because he can tell I am on my way to being a bitchy customer, asks me nonchalantly if the representative on the phone informed me of the $18 fee in the store and $18 fee on the bill for reactivation.
No he did not I tell him.
I call Alan back.
We decide to forgo the new phone and wait out our contract (June).
Now I ask you, If I have to pay $36 how in the name of all that is good and holy in this world is this phone FREE???
I was pissed.
On top of this episode, I am fixing to start and my hormones are raging. I found out today that one of the most beloved pets in my life has passed away. I have been feeling bad about my weight/looks/personality/life. And there are people really pissing me off that I can't say anything to because it is their personality traits that are irritating me.
So I got home, locked myself in my closet. Beat the plastic drawers with my blue tennis shoe, sobbed on the carpet for a while and then undressed and went to bed.
And even though I ended up getting up and running errands with Alan, I felt so much better. This morning I feel better, renewed, energized, ready to face Enrique from Cingular's customer service department.

Friday, March 25, 2005

A Shout Out

There are so many thoughts going through my head at any given time. It is a wonder I can decipher them.
Or make them work for me. Or even get out of bed sometimes.
But the one thing I have been thinking of more and more is how every person in my life has shaped me and given me a tool to use to create this person that I am.
When I was thirteen I met my "New York Parents". Karen and Pete. They had known my mom when she was married to my sperm donor when they lived in Arlington. But then they moved back to Buffalo, NY.
And they are fabulous. The most exciting, fun, smart and loving people. With out question or hesitation they treated me like I was their own.
In the two short weeks I spent with them the summer before high school started, they were able to give me the confidence and support I needed to enter as an awkward freshman and leave a less awkward senior.
They have always believed in me and for no other reason than they love me. Even being thousands of miles from me I knew I could always count of them.
How could a girl like me get so lucky?
I miss you guys, if your reading! With out you, I wouldn't be me.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Obsess much?

I go through periods in my life when I can think of nothing but one thing and I become obsessed with it.
Last year it was death. Morbid I know. But my grandfather died and it was on my mind.
Year before was losing weight. Had to get in shape for the wedding. Didn't want to be a hippo in a white dress.
This year, still a little bit death and weight, but more so poop. Which if you think about it, relates both to death and weight.
I mean, I have always been interested in poop, but this year, I am obsessed. Everything I do concerns poop. And you would think I would keep this quiet. But I don't.
I tell my friends about my poops. I buy special tea that makes you poop. Just recently I have started to bother Alan about his pooping habits.
Paige bought me a book last night, Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi. I am suppose to read it to my kids one day. But I enjoyed it myself.
The pictures show things pooping. I was amazed. And a little shocked. They actually have a picture of a young boy on a toilet with poop coming right out.
So, I know it is a little strange.
What are you obsessed with?
Or is it just me?

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Top 5

A little list of why I love Red River, NM and why Spring Break 2005 is the best ever!
FYI: There were going to be ten, but I'm late for church.

5. Snow, lots of the pretty white soft stuff. It was probably the most beautiful scenery I have ever been around.
4. I got to dress in layers, you can never tell how big/small someone is when they are in layers!
3. The scale at home said I lost two pounds. Which is a miracle considering what I ate all week. They have a Rocky Mountain Chocolate factory there. Paige was in heaven. Still is from what we brought home.
2. My boss paid for almost everything

And the number 1 reason why I love Red River, NM and why Spring Break 2005 is the best ever . . . .I actually got to go somewhere. For the first time since I was 13 I got to do something for spring break and not just stay at home and work.
Life is good. At least for now!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Monica I'm scared!

I leave for Red River, New Mexico in less than 18 hours. Company ski trip. Snow, mountains, should be fun.
But, everyone has been talking about altitude sickness and I am really freaked out. I don't want throw up and have diarrhea on vacation.
My boss says if you drink no caffeine and no alcohol the day you travel and the day after you get there, you should be fine.
The alcohol is not the problem.
I can't remember the last day I went without a cup of coffee. Plus! We are leaving at midnight and driving straight through. Stopping only for the necessary potty and gas breaks. How in the name of all that is good and holy am I suppose to make it??
I am drinking coffee right now.
It is apparent that I like to live dangerously.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Treachery is a foot!!!

So . . . I went to the doctor yesterday. Feeling kinda of cruddy. I get there about fifteen minutes early. I always hope they will see me sooner. Or at least put me in the room with the bed so I can lay down.
My appointment time came. Everytime the door to the examination rooms opened I lifted my head in anticipation. Waiting for my name to be called. I could feel the stiff paper and sterile clean smell of the bed. My body was aching for it. Thirty minutes went by.
A nurse came out, didn't even try to pronounce my last name. I got up. For a second I felt like I had won the grand prize at pie eating contest. (There were a lot of larger people in the waiting room)
She promptly tells me to get on the scale. I have on boots and heavy pants. This is not gonna be good.
It wasn't.
She then takes me to the examination room where she takes my blood pressure and tells me to wait, "the doctor has one patient before you and he will be right in".
Another thirty minutes later, after I have fallen asleep in the chair with my head on the desk next to it - she didn't say I could sit on the bed/table thing- the doctor comes in.
"So what's wrong with you"
Aren't you suppose to tell me that? And he doesn't. No, I leave with two prescriptions and no diagnosis. He isn't sure. Me having a temperature is throwing him off, but it is not high enough to be the flu. Blah, blah, blah.
I say thank you very much, take my prescriptions and head back to work.
This whole doctor thing seems to be a rip off. I pay my co-pay, wait an hour, and for basically no reason!!
On a positive note, he gave a Z pack, best meds ever. I feel sooooo good.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

What a morning!

So, one of the girls that works for me came in yesterday with a most embarrassing story about her morning.
She got to class early and started chatting it up with some friends. A girl then comes up behind her and tells her to check her back.
Unbeknownst to her, she had ridden to school and walked into class from the parking lot with a pair of crusty thongs hanging out the back of her jeans.
She says they weren't crusty, but personally I think it makes a better story.
But to top off the day, during the same class she pulled out her notebook and an unwrapped tampon decided to hold on and dangle in front of the hottie guys sitting next to her.
I turned red for her.
What really makes me wonder about myself though, is that while she is telling me this story, it is making me feel better.
Why do I get enjoyment from other people's embarrassment?
Or when people fall?
Never do I laugh as hard as when someone falls.

Friday, March 04, 2005


I'm getting fat.
There, I said it, out loud, for all to see and gasp at.
My pants are to tight. I wear the stretchy ones so I won't be to uncomfortable.
Almost all my shirts are to tight in the arms and back and are barely holding together across the boobs.
The seat belt rubs uncomfortably against my stomach.
When I sit down, there are two handfuls of gut that roll over and touch my thighs.
I have to use more lotion than before. (Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I should be ashy.)
And to put the icing on the cake so to speak- yum, icing sounds good- my kitty won't even lay on my stomach anymore because it raises her to far in the air, so she sits with my roommate who has a nice flat stomach or with Alan because of his long flat chest.
I am so depressed.
Which makes me want to eat something.
How did I ever lose weight before?