Monday, November 28, 2011

On to the next one

Thanksgiving over.
Last game between A&M and t.u. done, complete with heartbreak.
Rocked my daughter's 5th birthday party .
Playroom reorganized and toys in bag to donate in prep of the nightmare that is Christmas.
Pumpkin center piece trashed.
House (I'm gonna clean that as soon as I'm done here)
On to the next one . . .

Saturday, November 19, 2011


My heart breaks thinking of this. I have two sisters. I'm pretty sure both hate me.
Like. For real. Ok, hate is strong.
Dislike, Let's go with that.
I'm not a sister who has been mean or told them hateful things.
They are just sisters who, in my mind, have made choices that make it hard for us to be friends. And somehow I feel guilty. I feel it's my fault for their situations.
(Or I am an egotistical crazy bitch cause i believe my way is better.)
Logically, I know, they may be fine with how they are living. In my heart, well that is different.
My heart.
Even here, where I know I am safe, I can't tell you how I really feel.
I spent the better part of last night in the fetal position. Sobbing. With no control. I woke up with a massive headache and a heavy heart. This happened because I love my sisters. Bound by blood or whatever it is, I long to have a healthy, loving relationship with them.
That feels like an impossibility.
And that statement make me sad.

Monday, November 07, 2011

"That kid"

My son has been proving himself to be "that kid". He is 3.
Picked him up from MDO today and the teacher's face said it all.
When I dropped him off that morning he was clingy and needed a little extra time adjusting to class. Which is totally abnormal for him.
Come to find out he ended up punching and kicking walls, collapsing to floor and then squirming and kicking when picked up and finally, my favorite, throwing a chair.
Please don't let my kid be a criminal later in life.