My heart breaks thinking of this. I have two sisters. I'm pretty sure both hate me.
Like. For real. Ok, hate is strong.
Dislike, Let's go with that.
I'm not a sister who has been mean or told them hateful things.
They are just sisters who, in my mind, have made choices that make it hard for us to be friends. And somehow I feel guilty. I feel it's my fault for their situations.
(Or I am an egotistical crazy bitch cause i believe my way is better.)
Logically, I know, they may be fine with how they are living. In my heart, well that is different.
My heart.
Even here, where I know I am safe, I can't tell you how I really feel.
I spent the better part of last night in the fetal position. Sobbing. With no control. I woke up with a massive headache and a heavy heart. This happened because I love my sisters. Bound by blood or whatever it is, I long to have a healthy, loving relationship with them.
That feels like an impossibility.
And that statement make me sad.
1 comment:
Family can be real tough to deal with. I am pretty sure that all my siblings dislike me and my parents also strongly disapprove of me. Like you its because of the life choices that I have made. Family can judge you really unfairly. Its to the extent that I cant really turn to them in times of crisis because their answer is, oh if you only did what we told you to do you wouldnt be in this situation. So yeah you're not alone in the familial battles.
Post a Comment