Sunday, February 12, 2006

He left the butt ends for me

Hubby is the only thing keeping me going right now.
I asked him the other night why he loved me, cause really, I'm neurotic, he said that was why.
He knows he will never be bored.
I then asked him how much he loved me and he pointed out that he left the butt ends of the bread for me.
The butt ends are the best! And he knew that.

But back to the point of my writing today.
With everything going on in my wacky personal life (and really, I just mean my family) I was hoping to have a nice quiet Friday night to think things through and relax my mind a bit.
Instead, I got a drunken call from my dad.
I am now my dad's parent.
He is asking the hard to answer questions. (Was I a horrible dad?)
I am doing my best to break things to him gently with out lying to him. (Do you think you were a horrible dad? Cause how you feel is what matters, daddy.)
How do you answer those really hard questions when you know the truth will hurt them?

11 comments:

Kim said...

Okay...how hurt have you been over the past umpteen years??? The truth my hurt, but so did the many years of absentee parenting! Don't sugar coat it to save his feelings. He is an adult and should be able to appreciate constructive criticism (especially when he asks for it). You don't have to be mean...just be honest!

yrautca said...

berly, you have your own life. Why do you feel the need to take drunken calls from your dad on a Friday night. You need to take care of yourself first. Dont you have caller ID? If you feel it may be an emergency or something then pick up the phone to find out and if its not just say that you guys are heading out to meet friends and have to get some place on time. You have got to stop being available 24/7 for emotional abuse.

Also, you have to tell him the truth if he was a bad dad. DONT talk to him when he is drunk. Tell him to call back. Be a bit more assertive. Dont be so nice all the time.

yep, it's me.... said...

bread butts do say love

Drywall Mom said...

That's a catch 22 situation. I'm sorry that you are in it. As for the butt ends, my husband loves the ends of the loafs of bread. I've never heard it be called that though.

Px said...

i now make it a point to stay out of any and all arguments my parents have and any and all situations that will lead to someone asking me questions like that. and if they do i walk away

Courtney said...

Gross - the butt ends are the worst!!! :)
That sucks about your dad, Berly. How did the conversation end up?

Natalia said...

Sounds like you are going through family turmoil.

Look, I am just not one for mincing words. If your dad is asking, chances are he has a clue he messed up somewhere somehow and is either looking for comfirmation or for you to deny it.

The healthy thing to do is be honest in a kind way. He might be at the point in his life where he is facing his demons and lying or sugarcoating will not help.

Have a conversation with him when he is sober. Answer his questions honestly but also give him space to explain his take on the issue.

That's how I would handle it anyway :)

Best of luck, darling.

{{hug}}

-N

berly02 said...

Thank you . . . all of you.

Lindsey said...

I don't like the butt ends of regular bread but i LOVE them on French bread loaves. I like em crunchy.

I agree with Kim about your Dad. Be honest. You can be honest without being hurtful kiddo.

Px said...

i meant to add it's always the smallest things that make you feel loved, rather than the grand gestures
happy valentines
xxx

Jennifer said...

The solution is not to take drunk phone calls.
I'd love it if my dad would wonder whether he was a bad parent, he thinks he's God's gift to parenting.