Maruchan

They make an incredibly vile meal-in-a-cup.
One of those just add water lunches.
I'm addicted. I think cause of the sodium. I'm a salt feign.
What can I say.
You can buy them in bulk. They are cheap.
They are ready in 3 minutes!! They fill you up.
You have your meat group (chicken or beef flavor)
You have your vegetables (dried carrot, corn and pea pieces)
You have your breads (equally dried noodles)
Really, they may be perfect.

That House

Well, the house I was so excited about fell through.
It had termites, among other problems, and we felt it was not a sound investment for us being such a young couple with out tons of cash laying around.
So we backed out of the contract.
We then found another house, but someone came in with a cash offer. Jerks.
So of course, we didn't get that one.
Today, we have put in an offer on another one. This one is "move in ready". Honestly. I wouldn't even have to paint.
Every room suits me perfectly. And Alan as well, I think.
There was a yellow jacket that tried to attack me when I was there, but I don't think that is necessarily a bad sign.
So, we may or may not get this house.
I may or may not go crazy by the end of it all.
We will see . . .

!

Why isn't it Friday already?

Mother's Day

I have a prior obligation on Mother's Day weekend this year.
So, I'm headed home this weekend to spend some time with the life giver.
My mom.
She's a special lady.
I miss her terribly.
She is the kind of mom that can put you in a good mood and make you laugh seconds after you were crying.
She is the kind of mom that believes no sacrifice is to great for her children.
Sometimes I don't know how I live being so far from her.
Of course the daily, sometimes twice daily, phone calls help.
This weekend we will weight watchers food shop, clothes shop, sunbath, gossip, plan when I should get pregnant so she can take vacation to spend a least two weeks with me when the baby is born (It will change the next time we talk. It seems to be getting closer each time . . . ) and watch at least two girly movies that my dad refuses to see with her.
I'm edge of my seat excited.

WE GOT IT!!!

We put an offer on a house on Friday morning.
They countered.
We countered back.
They countered with their "final offer".
Their final offer was what we told ourselves we would buy it for.

So . . . . . . . we said YES!!

I am now "under contract" and bearing no problems with the house, Hubby and I will be first time home owners on June 30, 2006.
It's all I can think of. I dream of where the furniture will go.
What curtains I want to hang.
What it will be like to park my car in a garage.
Mowing.
Gardening.
The list is endless.
I am useless at work thanks to my overabundance of daydreaming concerning the house.

Close, but no

Things you think are going to be one way and sooooo aren't.

- Graduating college
- First year of marriage
- Texas beaches
- Best friends
- Friday night
- Green Apple gum
- Buying a house

Hubby to the rescue!

This morning I had to be at work early because its my responsibility to get the conference room ready for depositions.
At two minutes after I was suppose to have already been out the door, I decided the undershirt I had on didn't look right
I took it off.
Choose to leave wearing only my new blazer.
Bad choice.
I called hubby as soon as I got to work.
"Please bring me the green shirt I took off and threw on the bed"
This is why he is perfect.
He brought it to me.
And he didn't complain at all!!!

Bunny Tales

I went home for Easter. Like always.
Got to spend some time with my nephews and niece and five month pregnant with twins sister. All around good.
Some things I found to be funny/frustrating.

1) Mom mentioned hubby and I moving and babies no less than fifteen times. Each time she was met with a more exaggerated head shake and eye roll from hubby.

2) After counting all her plastic eggs and emptying the candy/money/toys into a plastic bag, my six year old niece decided to be upset about God only knows what. Her mother told her that if she didn't straighten up and lose the attitude, she would lose her candy/money/toys. With the look of the devil in her eyes she said to her mother, "So!". At which point I grabbed her arm and reassured her that if she ever wanted to sit again she would not speak to her mother that way in my presence. I was given a glance from head to toe, followed with a lengthy eye glare.

3) I think I might need children in order to be totally included in the family Easter celebration. The married with no kids thing was totally lacking in joy this year. I feel pressure!

She had it where?

You know those stories you hear about people not knowing they are pregnant and then giving birth in some random place . . .
Well.
I now know someone who gave birth to a five pound twelve ounce girl on her bathroom floor.
Flushed the "mess".
Wrapped the baby in a blanket and went to sleep in her bed.
She is sixteen.
That girl is strong.
Here I am afraid to get pregnant because of the pain that goes along with childbirth.
And she did it. No drugs. Nothing. BY HERSELF!
I can only imagine how scared she must have been.

"How long is that gonna last?"

I cleaned out my closet.
Nine trash bags full.


I then color coded my remaining shirts/dresses in the sequence of the rainbow.

Oh, that scar

"I HATE YOU!"
"Stop pulling my hair RIGHT NOW!"
Whimpering, "Let go of my wrist. You're hurting me"
*sniffle*
"I'm gonna tell mom if you don't get your hands off me."

She didn't. Not until mom walked into the bathroom and saw us.
Facing each other.
Me pulling her hair down so hard she was almost on the ground.
Her with her fake nails digging into my wrist, blood gushing out.
We were grounded from each other indefinitely. Would have worked too, no more fights, no more hating each other periodically, if we hadn't of loved each other so much that we had to start talking again.
But really, that's what sisters do.

I'm not lying

Judge: "Ma’am, could you please state your name for the record."

Our client: "Who's name?"

Judge: "Your name."

Our client: "What? Which one?"

Oh how I wish my job let me go to the court house more. I, sadly, missed this highly intellectual exchange of words which the hearing opened with.

Absent becasue . . .

I had a two day migraine.
It lingers and hurts me so.
That is all.

Green Beer!

I have never tried green beer. And really I want to.
Tonight, Alan's friends are coming in to town, so we will probably hit the local bar strip, have some green beer and regret it come morning.
Cause really, we have to get up at 5 am tomorrow so that we are on the road by 6 and at my mom's by 9.
My brother will be in from San Francisco. So excited to see him.
But as excited as I am, I am peeved that I have to disrupt my entire weekend because he decided to move so far away and come home twice a year.
Anyhoo.
It should be fun.

Sorry

I'm sorry.
Sorry I ruined your night.
Sorry I'm not who you really need.
Sorry I can't change and sorry I don't know how to.
But most of all, I'm sorry if you feel trapped.

*shiver*

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

You tell me

My friend Heather came to town Thursday night.
We went to dinner.
Had a huge margarita.


I may or may not have been drunk in this picture.

A jellyfish bad day

WARNING - This is a little long, but damn is it funny!

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I go! t in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

Have I told you this already?

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this to my blog family, but my oldest sister is pregnant.
With twins.
Apparently this kind of thing does run on the woman's side.
Who knew?
She is due at the end of July and my mom has already informed me that I will need to be saving my vacation time.
Not that I have a problem with this.
The more time with my nephews/neices the better since I do live three hours away.
I would like for them to get to know me.
But I have officially been volunteered to take a week off work and come "help" when the babies are born.

Ash Wednesday

I have decided to give up diet coke and all desserts for Lent.
The desserts might not be so hard.
Giving up the diet coke may put me into a coma.
We will see.


(It was my semi boss)