"no water purifies better"
"no water hydrates faster"
"you hold in your hand a bottle of vapor distilled, electrolyte enhanced water, once you remove the cap and tilt the bottle into "drinking position", water will begin to flow through your body, purifying and rapidly rehydrating you, if you find the idea of being purer and moister disturbing, please place the bottle back where you found it and continue on your dirty, arid way"
I am not lying, this is totally the marketing idea of someone genius, and that genius works for Smartwater.
There are even tick marks on one side of the bottle that tell you what is happening to your body after you drink so many ounces.
1-cells admit they have an impurity problem
2-cells seek intervention
3-cells check into detox
4-cells get therapy for toxin withdrawal
5-cells are released from rehab
6-cells are cleaner than a christian rock song
7-cell-ebration
Now who doesn't want to buy a bottle of water that actually congratulates you on your purchase. I think it is important to feel as though you have done well in spending your money. And I won't lie. I am now addicted to this electrolyte enhanced water. Or maybe the bottle. Whatever.
6 comments:
Very funny. I love stupid product instructions. I remember when Taco Bell used to iclude instructions on how to eat your taco right on the wrapper.
That's so funny. Someone told me about that smart water but I think I'm just too smart to buy it.
smartwater...if it's that smart why doesn't it find a way into my body without me having to buy it?
speaking of labels...i was eating a bag of peanuts last week when i noticed an allergy warning stating "caution; this product may contain traces of peanut" i was like "really? damn!"
I hate the fact that these people can come up with all sorts of crap and find a way to market it... it makes me sad about the human race.
-N
hahaha! That last one, "Cell-ebration" is uber cute. I love it...too bad they don't market the stuff in Canada or I'd go and buy a bottle now to investigate the hype myself!
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