Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Maybe because it's fall

I feel so out of place lately. Like nothing makes sense to me.
I don't belong where I am.
My life is not actually the life I am suppose to be living.
I have answers for nothing.
And questions for everything.
I feel an overwhelming sense of panic when I think about the future, because I can't see my future. For the first time in my life I can't picture myself older, doing things. I can't see past Christmas. I draw a huge blank. Is that some kind of warning?
I want to just live. Be happy with the life I have.
Honestly, I have nothing to complain about. My blessings have been many. Especially this year.
But this feeling of impending doom shadows me. It won't go away.
All I want to do is lay in bed and cry until my body is numb with emotion. Then maybe I will have found my way out of this . . .this feeling.

10 comments:

Katie said...

sorry your feeling this way...i feel like that a lot sometimes. i don't understand why i do?! hope all goes well!

Drywall Mom said...

What you need to do is sit down and figure out your goals in life and make steps on how to do it. If you have gotten side tracked then get back to your dreams and make them a reality. If it takes a set back to make it happen, so what, it will be worth it in the end to have what you want in life.

Lindsey said...

You know that I know exactly how you feel! things will get better..I'm here if you need me.
(((hugs)))

sv4494 said...

Baby sister...this to shall pass. We has all had these feelings before in our lives. It is just a course of life. Maybe gods way of making you stop and think. Have you gotten off course?? If so...try to take steps to get back on the track you were on. I only say this because this is always the way god gets me to "stop & think" about what i'm doing in my life. I love you and if I can be of any help call me.

Phil said...

Aaaaah! The "impending doom" feeling. I've had it at times. Just relax. Whatever it is that's out there waiting to pounce on you will either happen and it won't be as bad as you think, or it will miss you.

Princess Pessimism said...

I think that EVERYONE in our general age range is experiencing the exact same thing lately. I know that all of my friends have the "what the fuck am I doing" conversations.....Ugh. It's sort of frustrating isnt it?

berly02 said...

Linny {{hug back}} - thank you!
Thanks for all the support you guys!! It really means a lot. And I'm ok, honestly. It just feels better to let those thoughts/emotions/feelings out into the open.

Courtney O. said...

Call me - we'll chat...
And maybe have a girls weekend or something! They're not cure-all's, but they help temporarily!!!

SS said...

Oh my! I have been there before. Thankfully, as you said, you have a lot of good things going in your life right now. So, with any luck, this will pass soon.

Best wishes!

Thomas J Wolfenden said...

Join the club... I feel like that all the time.

It'll get better.