"Shit, we don't have any ice cream."
"I'll go get it. The little cup size ones?"
"Ya."
I couldn't grab my purse fast enough. Probably should have asked Stephanie if she wanted to go with me. Or at least Alan. He sometimes isn't comfortable when I leave him alone with the family. Screw it. I need to be by myself. I need to calm down before she gets here. She has managed to piss me off before I even see her. That may be a new record.
"Hurry up pokey. How freakin long does it take to get out of a parking space?"
Don't cry. Keep it in. It will do you no good now. She's never gonna change. She has had so many chances. But it's like she lives to hurt, Mom. To drive that wedge between us all. Make us miserable. She can't do anything to try and help the situation. Not even show some respect to the rest of the family and show up for a birthday lunch on time. No, she has to be an hour and half late. FUCK!
"Excuse me, Where do I find the sweet n' low?"
"Aisle ten ma'am."
"Thank you."
How many freakin times have I had to tell myself to stop thinking about this. Stop agonizing over how hurt Mom must be. She is obviously going to keep inviting her over and keep trying to reach out to her. And she is obviously going to keep shitting on her. I have to keep my mouth shut today. I CAN NOT say anything to her. A. It wouldn't faze her a damn bit. B. She wouldn't listen and somehow would turn out to be the victim. C. The damage is done. What is me saying anything going to help? Nothing. God, it hurts. It hurts so much to feel like this. To watch my family seemingly crumble. We used to be so close. Laughter surrounded us. That free laughter. Not the tight, uncomfortable, there is something wrong but we should laugh to cover it up and maybe nobody will mention it kind of laugh like we do now. Does only hate remain? Is that it for our family?
"Please scan your first item now."
Do I need this book? Yes. I'll just get whatever I grabbed. I need the sweet n' low because we don't used regular sugar in our coffee and Mom never has anything else. I came for the ice cream. We are always forgetting our toothpaste, so we will leave this one here. It won't be to much.
"Your total is $20.28."
Ok. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna put on the happy face. I am NOT going to think about how inconsiderate and hateful she is. I am just going to enjoy being with my family.
10 comments:
she doesn't sound like a very nice person
she sounds like someone i know though
deep breaths, bite your tongue and think that every thing is going to be ok in the long run and if it's not you could always hire me...i'm running a nice little side business these days for offing people who get on my nerves
That sucks, Berle. But you know, you keep holding everything in like that and one day you're going to be Red Berly (much like Red Ross)...
Wow! That was very poignant and painful to read. Maybe a clown would have livened up the party! (Seriously, that was a very well written and sad story. So of course I made a joke so we can all laugh uncomfortably to cover up our discomfort with the emotional truth.)
Thank you Phil. It actually does help. :)
breath berly breath.....lol
SMILE :o)
ROTFL @ Red Ross...I would drop some sarcastic remark in a classy way :) Lest you keep it inside and become Miss Pissy Pants McAngerball.
-N
Wow, you know my mother-in-law too? Such a shame.
Hang in there baby -- it will all be over soon!
I was moved by this piece. It can stand alone as a short story. You can probably add some length to it. But it would make for a very good short story. The interrupting dialogue at the store is nicely done.
Assuming this is a real situation, I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I am assuming you are taking about your sister or some other close relative. In my family if someone does something like this we usually give them shit right away and/or ignore them. They have a problem, not us. They need to sort out their issues if they are to remian close to us. If not, too bad. Tell your mom that she needs not emotionally depend on one irresponsible member of the family. Gradually help her realize that rudeness and lack of respect should not be condoned.
In any case, I like this writing style.
I know someone like that. I unfortunately don't have much capacity for keeping my mouth shut. There would have been a fight and I would have killed her. If you need me to fly to Texas to quietly take care of business...let me know. I'm am after training to be a super spy.
I love you little sis, I'm sorry that our middle sis has to act the way she does sometimes. Maybe...just maybe...one day she will finally get it. That we are not ALL out to get her. I sure did enjoy seeing you & Alan. When things settle down here with me, I want to come & spend the weekend with you, just you & me. If you would want to!! Love you, Your Big Sissy
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