Sunday, December 12, 2004

Derrell Wayne

When I was five, my mom started dating Derrell. I couldn't pronounce his name, so I called him DJ. About a week after my seventh birthday my mom married him outside on his deck in the back yard.
They have a video of the ceremony. And the best part is little Aaron, that's my bro (step), having a serious case of boredom. He kept opening and closing the ring box and when the pastor called for us to bow our head to pray for the last time, he dropped his head in this dramatic gesture that made his entire body jerk. Priceless.
Until I was fourteen, I never warmed up to the idea of having a second dad around. I always kinda thought Derrell was mean and didn't like me. Why give him a chance?
My real dad has never been there for me. Which, in his own way, was actually the perfect gift.
You see, one weekend a couple weeks before Christmas, my mom was out of town and I had some band thing to go to. So I couldn't go to my dad's for the weekend, but he was suppose to be picking me up that Sunday and we were gonna have father/daughter time together.
For the countless time in my life, he broke a promise. And of course being the emotional basket case I am, even then, I cried and shut my self up in my room.
Derrell took it upon him self to help me out. He asked me if I wanted to help decorate before mom got home. You see, decorating for Christmas is something my mom wants done, but no one usually helps so it stresses her out.
Anyhoo, I decide sure, I'd love to. The whole time we are talking, laughing, and finally after seven years of living together, we are bonding. Since that afternoon, I've had a father and not just a dad.
You know the difference. The one that is there because he helped make you, and then the one that provides for you and gives you the resources to be who you are.
I love Derrell more than I could ever express.
And even though he isn't the type of person to show much affection, he does for me. He knows me, and he knows I need it.
That's just him. He has such good inside him. No matter what someone needs, he always tries to provide that for them. He is fair when so many people are not. He is reasonable when everything seems chaotic. Derrell is my father, when even though he probably didn't want to be, because he knew I needed him. Whatever I do in my life, I hope I am making you proud, Derrell.

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